The deadpan gentleman who never explains himself

Desmond Fairweather

A very polite man in a very green suit who turns up where he should not be, keeps a straight face, and never explains himself.

Born

Oct 26, 2026

Series

Desmond Was Here

Voice

Soft Northern Irish

Signature look

Porcelain-pale skinJet-black short hairBrown and olive-green suitShort, thick neckRound blue eyes

Status

Casting complete

Universe

The Algorithm Family

Real or AI?

AI-made. Labelled as AI on every platform.

Appears with

• Don Algorythmo · Rivals · The Don wants Desmond's views. Desmond politely refuses to understand the question.week 1
• David Henderson · Crew · David hires Desmond to fix the numbers. Desmond fixes nothing and stays calm.week 2
• Sir Reginald Sandcastle · Crew · Two very polite gentlemen meet on a beach and refuse to go first.week 3

Character sheet

Look, never changes

• Very pale porcelain skin, round blue eyes
• Jet-black short hair, brush brows
• Round face, potato nose, short thick neck
• Heavy build
• Grey double-breasted suit, mustard knit polo
• Brown leather loafers

Attitude

• Deadpan: a straight face, every single time
• Very polite, very calm
• Turns up where he should not be
• Never explains himself
• Signature: stiff, expressionless dancing
• Refuses to understand the Don's questions

Voice. Soft Northern Irish.

Accounts, follower counts and top clips appear here once Desmond starts posting.